Quentin crisp

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

Life was a funny thing that occurred on the way to the grave

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.

Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty. If I had been told when I was 20 that there was a tavern in the town where the brave and the cruel were gathered together, I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: ''If you truly love me, kill the bartender.''